When thinking about Johnny’s, you think crappy costumes Don’t pretend you don’t understand, you know exactly what I mean When a JE stylist grabs her sewing machine… charity fairs better watch out! That’s why I’m sporting a K-pop T-shirt…to pretend this fashion has nothing to do with me Even though that design is a complete rip off of Kis-my-fteu-too but…. In order to be fair, and because there’s way too much material on this subject, I’ve picked only 5 groups and only 1 costume per group, otherwise we’re still here tomorow But not to worry, there are way more than these groups and outfits, they all have their horror gallery because a proper Johnny’s is defined not only by his pretty face, no my good Sir He’s also defined by his Burning-Your-Retina’s outfit Especially during Junior days Let’s start with Number 5 KAT-TUN In a nutshell they’re King of the Butt cloth If you need to re-use a mop, fear not they’re working full on it! Customized with spikes, chains, fur, anything you want That’s not even shocking to be honest, no no I won’t attack the Junior days, too easy! They had an excuse: no budget, no debut yet… so we won’t talk about these amazing leathery red outfits lined with leopard prints or about these fugly pink and blue satin costumes on a dodgy Pirate theme Let’s start directly with the Cartoon KAT-TUN II You Fashion show In tulle and what looks like crepe-paper What’s the excuse? Don’t tell me they didn’t have budget on this one When you can afford giant bulldogs mascots, you don’t do crepe-paper outfits fashion show! Especially for a group that’s supposed to be “Wild and Dark” Dafuq is Dark here? WHY? Someone please explain to me! Who lost a game of Truth or Dare? Who got a forfeit and dragged everyone else down? Whose fault is this? WHO DID THIS? Seriously, I mean the show is supposed to be all “Hey look at us, we’re hardcore rebeeels” I’ve learned a lesson here! Wow! No. Moreover, this DVD is the first one I showed to Kiko, I swear to God when she saw THIS coming on stage… She seriously questioned my taste Maybe I came out too hard with this concert. I don’t know what I was thinking tbh, I mean it’s horrendous… Horrendous Instead of JWEST I can just say Junta He’s committed to it! Whenever there’s a shitty costume, his will still be the worst Even when outfits are normal, his will still be ugly af I won’t mention this beautiful puffed-out panty pirate costume. That alone deserves a gold star! To serve you Ladies and Gents, a team effort made by the whole group on Akan Love Man, is that full of crap! Boa, Tapestry (how else am I suppose to call this fabric?), fancy glasses If that wasn’t enough, some even wear headband. Mickey on the top being of course Junta! with a fabulous cape-lined vest, coupled with a top hat. Everything in the same ugly tapestry… Can we take a second to appreciate Kami-chan going the extra mile here? Not only the headband that hides half of his face, but he’s wearing pants coupled with a swaggy cargo short He’s already short, now he’s literally drowning in fabrics! That reminds me a lot of a popular Drag Queen song, when I was younger ~Let me be a Drag Queen, Extravaganza~ They already have a head start with a masterly advantage in their group Massu! Again, who thought it was a good idea to leave him in charge of costumes? Who, when seeing one of his design, said ” Amazing! He’ll do all of them, I LOVE IT!” Whoever is responsible: You have a problem! Therefore, with a guy like Massu taking care of your costumes, where to start? There’s such a wide selection. Chumu Chumu? Too simple Let’s go straight to live costumes. It’s not an easy choice We can talk about the Sequin Boubou-Poncho, the flowery nightshirt… See? That’s the Fashion Police coming right up! And they’d be right! I think we can only go with… *smaks* the Bambina costumes! Wait, the video might get flagged for this so I’m gonna show you a snippet… There you go! One more… Hopla! Enough, stop Theme is very Leather and Moustache ~Leather, leather and Moustache~ Where to start? Should we go with Koyama and this fabulous Hard Gay inspired Uncovering Nipple cardigan? You can feel Shige trying to veto as he may be more modest and is sporting therefore an outfit largely inspired by Sailor Stars He got lucky to get a pant, he could have ended up with a short Tegoshi wins the jackpot, I don’t want to talk about Massu seriously, what’s the deal with that pregnancy dress? You’re tiring, Massu! Who saw this and told him “Hey Massu, dat potato sack is looking hot on you, man! I can barely control myself!” That is not exciting my leggings! So, the Grand Finale! What’s happening backstage with Tegomass? I mean Tegoshi’s outfit…missing only a horsewhip! I feel like Massu is trying to convey a message in a very unsubtle way Need I say more? Between the leather sports bra and the holed pants… There’s a time to tell Massu “this is going too far”. High level or what? Arashi are not newbies. They’ve been in the business for a while They may have toned it down a bit now but we all remember the younger days It’ a new level, they’re not even joking, we have guys who dressed up as Popcorn. Yes, Sir. This isn’t a printed outfit, they’re POP-CORN They’re committed, they go all the way! I can talk about a lot of things such as this Saturday Night Fever inspiration But come on, we all know where this is going, there’s a legendary outfit Mythical! One that even Arashi would rather forget Those transparent plastic suits I know, they didn’t have a choice. People need to eat I don’t know they were inspired by JYP or if JYP copied them, but at least Arashi are being more decent with long white shorts instead of this…suggestive beam pants, that JYP is wearing proudly So much sensuality is moving me…. The undisputable Masters They’re so shameless they broke all barriers Throwing away all Fashion victims They’re going further, it’s a costume dedicated to its own art Think of something, they did it They dressed up as veggies, sushis, schoolgirls, rangers as…Johnny’s? What’s that? Okay, stop, STOP! You’d think they’d be over it after all the crazy stuff they’ve done Absolutely not, Sir, Absolutely not! Kanjani set the bar even higher. Better than this, I don’t think it’s possible For the same decency reasons, I won’t put any video snippets, I won’t even show the back of the costume We’re talking Japanese traditional underwear, yup That’s exactly what you think it is. I’m putting a picture quickly, enjoy the beauty. Ready? And…BAM! Stop, that’s enough! Not too much my good Sir, keep it PG13…At least try… I recommend you research these fantastic outfits It was hard getting over these! How could anyone top this costume? Who would dare? Apart from walking around with a vine leaf…actually it’s been done Not by Johnny’s but we won’t talk about Japanese TV classics Need I say more? I don’t think so It speaks for itself, one last time, ready? BAM You must appreciate the beauty and not overindulge in it Otherwise, you get used to Kanjani’s cute tushies There you go, I hope you enjoyed the video and your retina survived If you did, please give the video a thumbs up and share it around you Tell me about your favourite costumes and if you want a part 2 of this type of video For suggestions/comment, I’m available on TW, FB, IG all links are in the description box I’ll also put links to playlists if you want to see more Johnny’s videos If you missed last week’s video it’s right here! Go check it and let me know if you liked it *prfft* Hair! And as usual don’t forget to subscribe to my channel so you don’t miss next week’s video! That’s it for me this week, see you soon~

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